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Sunday, 11 December 2016

Stunning Beauty Chronicles (WHoOG)

It was a while since I've got to play wuxia. So I roped my wife into running it for me and a very close friend with which we can play often.
I pitched the other player the idea of both of us being from the Silken Robe society. She agreed, and so our party, named Stunning Beauty Team, was conceived.
(We also have stunning fists and kicks, and in the backstory, she'd married my character after nursing him back to health, because he was as beauiful as her. He has been the student of a travelling master, but his master ordered him to run after we were both ambushed and my character was hurt).

So now, we're running the bordello of the Silken Robe Society, named The House of Silken Robes. Most of the money is for the clan, of course. And I'm quite the good choice for director: my character has an imbalance that requires him to have regular sex...and he's studying for the Imperial Exams.
Two sessions elapsed already, and we're close to getting to 2nd Qi level (that's usually doable in 2 sessions, but our XP gains were hampered by not getting into a single fight in the first session).

The game began with a party on our workplace. It was going great until a serving maid entered, bloodied, and lost conscience. We chased towards the upper floor to find the culprits and explore the traces. My wife, being better at Qin Gong, chased them - and I surveyed.
I'd lost a working girl, a client - a magistrate, at that - and a guard (not from the clan). The assassin, which my wife didn't manage to get, had written with blood "Give The Sword Back!" (The hieroglyphe was Jian; I asked).
The chief of my secuity almost committed suicide because of the shame - she's more uptight even than me - but I managed to dissuade her. She might be good material to train in kung-fu!
On top of that, someone had attacked the clan compound, too! Well, the birds alerted the clan, and there were no casualties that mattered, but the attacker lost 3 men. They had their faces slashed repeatedly until they were unrecognizable...what do you ask, "do you know the owner of this scar tissue"?

A long session of searching for clues ensued. At the end, we knew the following:
-Someone had recently set a prize for returning a sword lost 15 years ago, when a respected master had been assassinated. That was "soon after me and my wife were born", although he'd been a friend of our clan.
-There was a rumour the jian was in our clan, due to some members being in a liaison - guess what kind, we're the Silken Robes! - with one of the killers.
-The late master's daughter, Da Su Su, has recently reappeared.

I went to the Two-Timing Cockerel - my wife is his brother's daughter - and asked him to check the veracity of the rumours. He spoke to everyone personally, because he didn't want me to lie from the name of the clan he heads, even unknowingly.
Results: everybody claimed they'd neither done one of the 5 killers (in the last 15 years or so, after the murder), nor did anyone own the sword. Who would lie to the clan's head?
And thus we were sure in our righteousness when we went to meet the daughter of the assassinated master (also known as the Relentless Corpse Queen, though we didn't know that nickname - former students of her father said she's been doing stuff they disapproved of, but I assumed they meant she'd stopped).

There was three of us, including the daughter of the Two-Timing Cockerel Yu Bijun, her niece (my wife), and my character. So, of course, we spoke with the Bijun and decided we'd open with accusations, and she could go "softer and more reasonable, given that they're youngsters" later.
Thus my opening line was great. Imagine the picture: In front of us, a blue-eyed woman of exquisite beauty, alabaster skin (Da Su Su, who doesn't grow old) and four expressionless guards - with them dressed in wedding clothes.
"Greetings, lady. Do we interrupt something?", I pointed to them. "We could come later if it's a wedding..."
Who'd expect the Silken Robes to judge someone else for marrying four men...just like our leaders?
"You interrupt nothing", she answered.
But then, it went downhill. Da Su Su didn't even deny being behind the attacks, but then showed us a letter that supposedly proved that a long-dead woman from our clan had been the lover of one of the killers (still in hiding).
The avenging daughter didn't know the woman is dead, but then claimed that she holds us responsible for it still. And she wanted us to help her locate him, or suffer the responsibility.
We, on the other hand, told her the clan leader had inquired personally and found no proof, and then asked her to pay for the damages.
Avenging Daughter took that as disagreement, and asked her to prove our innocence. After I pointed out that proving a negative assertion is pointless, she called us insolent puppies.
At the word "puppies" my wife jumped over her, kicked her in the kidneys with Kick of the Swan, and continued kicking the heads and groins of all of them. Though only one of them, and the beautiful daughter, showed having felt it.
Yes, she made all her rolls. And she didn't even suffer Imbalance from this, since she got a Total Success on the first attack.
Me? I made a couple gestures and violet-purple light enveloped my palms. I Iron Bodied away the staff strike of the sect leader, too.
All five enemies tried to smash or slash my wife, so she began dancing on their weapons (and kicked the daughter in the face in the process). Weapon Stride is a nice counter. It also saved her again after the woman with the staff tried to really hurt her...but our superior - the daughter of the clan's chief - suffered a devastating attack, despite her Drunken Dodges.
One of the men slashed me so fast my Iron Body didn't save me from the strike which would have killed a normal man. Another's Ox-Tail Dao I bumped away with my Iron Body technique. Yes, I was gearing for the Heart-Smashing Strike, if you were wondering.
I suffered two Wounds from a single Ferocious Strike with a Total Success on the attack and a Total Success on the damage roll. The motherfucker!
The daughter suffered FOUR wounds (!) from a single attack of the beautiful woman...but managed to avoid the poison part of the attack.
The next moment, I swung my hand, and smashed it in her ribs. It cracked no worse than her own staff strike. Though she didn't seem nearly as preoccupied as Yu Bijun had been!
I also dealth 4 Wounds, due to a Total Success on the damage. But Da Su Su had 10 Wounds remaining!
"Do you like it rough, dear?", I asked Da Su Su, always mindful of keeping such a beauty happy. 
At the same moment, my wife jumped up and crawled up a tree, disappearing among the leaves.
"And do you feel her stare between your shoulder blades?", I added, smiling.
"You're good for a puppy. If only you were behaving more like a professional...", she answered.
"YOU are talking to me about professionalism?", I asked. "I haven't seen any from you. We came to deal fairly and squarely with you!"
"You attacked me!"
"You had attacked us based on erroneous information, for something that's happened 15 years ago, and the perpetrator of which has been dead over a decade. Even then we were willing to negotiate - but you refused to make us a professional offer!"
"What do you want?"
"Us? We'd be willing to help you - but not for free, since we don't feel responsible. You can pay for our help, for the damage caused to our business, two lost servants included, and to our reputation - included problems with the law incured by your attack - and the wounds suffered by clan members. Then we'd help...but much as we respected your father, your vendetta doesn't interest us, in itself, not after 15 years!"
"Tell me a sum!"
I made some quick calculations and asked for, I think, 5 Gold Taels in damages, 1 silver tael per month for me, another for my wife - we'd need to hire and appoint replacements to take care of our business. While I was explaining where the money would go, she answered.
"Money is not an issue".
And Da Su Su took off one of her golden necklaces - with green jade, by the Yellow Emperor - and threw it in my feet.
"Let me know how long I've hired you for."
Then she turned and left with her silent guards. None of them had said a word.
Meanwhile, my wife spotted a man - and captured him with Qin Gong - who turned out to be a servant from our clan's compound. A personal servant of the fifth brother of the Two-Timing Cockerel, Bantering Peacock!
He claimed first being here to gather mushrooms, then (after I asked my wife whether she's in the mood to kick somebody) admitted that he's here to check whether our superior - the possible future Clan's Head - is alright.
"I am alright", she said.
I shook my head and ordered the man to present himself directly to the Two-Timing Cockerel, and repeat exactly what he said to us. I also took a flock of his hair.
"You stray from my instructions, I give that to a witch I know. You'd be lucky if your balls simply fall off and regrow on the sides of your nose!"
He seemed to have understood.

We went back, too. An hour later, I was unharmed, due to my Nei Gong, and only felt horny - but luckily, my wife kinda shared that feeling. Yu Bijun offered to join us, but my wife was sulking due to not being able to really harm the beautiful, insolent clan leader, so I declined politely (she's being her usual, too-self-confidant-for-her-own-good, self - so I knew she'd feel frustrated).
It helps when the PCs have got similar Flaws.

After we found a jeweler, it turned out the necklace was worth 22 GOLDEN Taels. That's 220 Silver, or 220 000 Strings of Spades.
We sent "gifts" to families (5 Silver Taels to the dead courtesan's family, and as much to the guard's family, 2 GOLDEN taels - 20 silver - to the dead magistrate's family) and the local magistrate (20 more Silver Taels), purchased another courtesan's contract (12 Silver Taels), paid to boost the morale of usual clients (8 Silver Taels for a few nights of debauchery on lower prices), and realised we've been hired for...75 months each, barring major expenses.
We hired three supervisors to replace us (100 Strings each, or 0,3 Silver Taels, out of the monthly sum). After that, we asked where the letter has been found. It turned out to have been hidden with some relatives of one of the culprits we had to uncover, in some village.
We hired a palanquin, took the head of the bordello security (I need to appoint another, but I've decided to teach her Kung-Fu!) and Yu Bijun - who had offered to join us on the trip...and off we went, to the village!
That's where the session ended!